Emily's New Diagnosis--Heidi's rambling as I still am processing things

My mind is in quite a whirl lately.  Our trip to PCMC in November brought some questions of a possible new diagnosis for Emily, but doctors couldn't agree and were unsure.  So I was able to keep things in the back of my mind and still hope that maybe they really hadn't seen anything new--or in actuallity realized that something was there all along, but very slight and saw more positivily as they went back to look--However, a call on Friday from a very special and caring doctor came news of "yes we have to say we have a different diagnosis".  Since then I find myself doing my best to be strong and remind myself I will learn more (and not to worry about the unknown), but then when noone is looking the tears just come with no warning as the questions of the unknown haunt my mind.

Emily's new diagnosis is Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis.  It is when what is known as langerhans cells(which are immune cells) over produce.  So since these cells are to help the body fight off infection when they overproduce they start fighting the body--so in other words her body  is attacking itself.  So far we are only aware of her bones being effected, but they will test everything this week to make sure this is correct.  Bones are a low risk of this disease where other organs being effected can make it high risk.  This is all just what I am slowly learning and hopefully more answers and knowledge with come with our visit with her newly appointed Oncologist on Tuesday.  Yes I can say the word--Oncologist (a speacialist in cancer).  This disease has some similiarities of cancer--but it is not cancer.  However, one of the treatments for this disease is low doses of Chemotherapy.  I think that is where my haunting questions come from.....

*Will she lose her hair?,,  Will she be sick all the time or more often?,, Will she lose weight and lose so much of who she is?,,  Will she have to miss more school than she already does--this is big because she loves school so very much?  those that read this blog will be the first to hear these questions since I have tried to leave them in my mind so as not to worry Jeff, Emily, or anyone else in the family--but sometimes you have to let things out so they do not consume you and really it does no good to worry about things that might not even be a concern when we get more answers.  So thanks for being a sounding board and letting me lose some of my tears so I can once again put on a happy face and smile through this new challenge.

I am just so very thankful for my knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ and can find comfort in knowing that he is in control and all will work out for the best.

I also want to take a moment to thank all of you that fasted and prayed for her and her doctors on Sunday.  I told Emily about it and she said if everyone could do this for her she could do it too and she could take her medicines after lunch and breaking her fast. 

You are all amazing examples and thanks so much for your love and support--I know it is what gets us through.